


Maybe I Need You

by Skye_La



Series: Maybe I Need You - Swan Queen Week Summer 2016 [1]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/F, Light Robin and Hook bashing, Swan Queen Week Summer 2016
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-09
Updated: 2016-08-20
Packaged: 2018-08-07 18:19:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,233
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7724905
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skye_La/pseuds/Skye_La
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“You made me into a monster, but I won’t let you do the same to Emma” she tells Gold and she fucking means it.</p><p>-<br/>Set around episodes Sympathy For The De Vil and Lily. Regina is going to let Emma become the Dark One over her dead body.</p><p>I cheated and merged some SQW days into one chapter =)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Maybe I Need You (confession)

Confession

“You made me into a monster, but I won’t let you do the same to Emma” she tells Gold and she fucking means it. 

She’s been there. She’s clawed her way back from it. Nothing on Earth can twist her into doing it to Emma. Robin’s face comes to mind, his aftershave, the twisted curl of Zelena’s lips and she’s sick with it. Robin in Zelena’s grasp and Emma strangled with darkness. The choice is awful but it is made.

She’s walking to the apartment and has no idea how she’s going to explain it to them. The idealistic, tormented Charmings who still think heroes always win, even after all this. Snow and David still think they did the Right thing to Maleficent’s child. She probably would have done the same, but at least she’d have called if what it was: evil.

Voices echo in the hall as she climbs the stairs. Shouting again. 

“No matter what I would never harm an innocent person!” Emma is shrill, sharpened by her parents’ refusal to regret what they did, to apologise for ruining someone else’s life, for the weight they have hefted onto her shoulders.

She hears Snow, justifying, smothering, it almost chokes her in old feelings that she has worked hard to let go of. It's not the choice they made that disgusts her, it's how they handled it with their adult daughter. They're too busy justifying in their guilt to even consider Emma’s.

“Regina where have you been?” Emma asks when she walks in.

Once there were protections on this apartment designed to keep her out. Now she walks in and people demand where she’s been. From someone else it might seem controlling or overbearing, but she has been watched and stripped of agency before. That’s not what this feels like.

She explains, deeply uncomfortable with what she knows, itching to get away and kick Zelena’s green ass all over New York.

“Robin Hood? What the hell are you talking about?” Emma’s voice is soft but her words are hard and her eyes will barely meet Regina’s.

She has no explanation. She went through Hell over Marian’s return, the loss of Robin, and she took everyone else with her. She took Emma. And now it was for nothing? She tells them what she knows and David barely seems surprised. Snow’s mouth hangs open, as does Emma’s. Hook loiters behind them all like a shadow while Emma searches silently for an explanation. She’s thinking the same thing, the pain they went through, just a trick they all fell for.

She’s going to get Robin anyway and even for Storybrooke, it feels strange. Emma is still staring at the ground like it has completely gone from beneath her. She's sorry, but that doesn't mean much now.

-

She packs quickly with magic, it’s not Mary Poppins but it’s not far off. Toiletries, a change of clothes, phone charger and she’s done. She’s ready to go when Emma appears out of nowhere, the bug blocking her car in. 

She doesn’t have any choice but to rescue Robin and she says so. Emma knows and she feels a spark of something in her chest, pride maybe?

“You don’t have to go alone” Emma begs

She knows that, she had known as soon as she had decided on it, but Emma is looking for an escape and that’s not what this will be.

“Things are different in New York, without your magic you…”

‘You what?’ she thinks ‘you’ll be weak? You’ll be vulnerable? You won’t make it?’ Whatever Emma was going to say she doesn’t and it doesn’t matter. The look on her face is rejection, being left behind. It's gone as soon as it came, she was expecting it.

“Listen, if you won’t take me with you, I want you to take this” Something about her words catch Regina and tug at her. “I hope you don’t have to use it but I want you to stay safe”

The thing that tugged now rips at her. The weight of Emma’s gun presses into her palm and heaviness presses down on her shoulders. Emma’s eyes are somewhere off to her left and she doesn’t know what the right thing to say is. She can look after herself. She knows what she’s doing. Emma doesn’t need to worry about her. But Emma does worry about her. Emma is worried about her and wants to be taken along.

“Thank you” she says, and it comes out in the deep soft way it does with Henry, the way that means warmth and appreciation.

She puts the gun in her handbag and doesn’t wonder if it’s loaded, if the safety is on, if that is really a safe way to carry a lethal weapon. She wonders why Emma still won’t meet her eyes. 

“So you’re not angry with me, for keeping your parents’ secret?” She prods. Emma’s entitled to it if that is how she feels.

“It’s between me and them” she crosses her arms and shifts in discomfort. “You were just trying to help”

She doesn’t know if it’s her words or the eye contact she’s been trying to catch but she’s relieved. There isn’t time to correct her, to tell her it was for her, not for them. Her phone is ringing.

“It’s Henry. A video message”

“It must be a thing now, I’ve got one too” Emma says

Regina doesn't see her smile but she hears it in her voice. Always smiles for Henry, he's the key to protecting Emma’s heart and she understands the feeling. He had been the key to rescuing hers.

“Mom” It’s his tone that turns her insides to ice in one word. Then his face, his panic, and Cruella.

“Darlings, as you can see I have your dreadful son”

Everything is forgotten. The goodbye, the gun, the rescue mission for Robin. Emma’s eyes are cold when she meets them, it's a look she knows, but not on Emma. Without speaking they disappear and reappear at the loft within seconds of each other. 

Snow jumps and David comes running down the steps.

“What is it?” He asks, looking to Snow who shrugs

“You might wanna sit down” Emma says too loudly, drags a chair out from the table and drops into it. She’s every bit the angry teenager they have no experience of raising.

“So what do we do now?” David asks

“We get our hands dirty and do whatever it takes to get him back” Regina says

No one likes the author and they can probably just give him to her alive and swap him for Henry if they can find him. Or maybe she can just use her magic on Cruella and they don’t need the author at all. All they need is Henry’s location. David is useful in that regard at least. 

“If we go in guns blazing we risk hurting Henry, we have to find another way” Emma says flatly, shut down completely in front of her parents. 

It’s Emma’s heart they’re trying to protect, though Regina feels like the only one doing a half decent job. Sheriff Swan organises. The Charmings are to find the author, “I’ll take Regina and Hook”, no asking, just telling. 

“I know you’re angry! But avoiding us isn’t going to help” Snow practically shouts

The familiar feeling of wanting to slap Snow White rises in her chest and Emma would be within her rights to bite her head off. She doesn’t shout at them, she tells them she doesn’t trust them. The inclination to hit Snow evaporates with the look of shock and hurt on her face. Emma’s right and she was honest. Snow looks like she might finally understand that this is something they've done _to_ and not _for_ their daughter.

And then Cruella is dead. She can’t say she’d have done any different, she only wishes she’d gotten there first to do it herself. “It’s darkness” the Charmings insist. “It’s regret” Emma throws back. 

-

Maleficent is looking for her daughter and Emma is a finder. She runs from the diner and no one knows why. Henry gets up.

“No” Regina lays a hand on his arm “let me”

He looks hard at her and she waits. He nods eventually and she squeezes his shoulder as she goes. Henry would make Emma feel better but she puts on a brave face for him. She doesn't put faces on with Regina and if she's going to get to the heart of all this she needs the real Emma.

“Interesting” Mal says as she passes her

“Do you want your daughter back or not?”

She knows from the smile she gets that Mal isn’t phased by the roughness of her words, just as Regina was never phased by the roughness of her hands.

Mal’s daughter is Lily, Emma’s childhood friend. What are the chances? Emma thinks it means their friendship wasn’t real, that none of it counts, until Regina reminds her of Henry. Of course it all counts. Emma almost looks like she concedes.

It’s not the dismissal she receives when she suggests they go together. It's the same feeling that she wants to wrap Emma in a blanket and Take Care Of everything. She would have killed Cruella to save Henry, to save Emma, and she wouldn’t feel bad about it. But Emma is questioning her life, her past, her parents and their pedestal, her title of Saviour and whether any of it means anything. She needs a use, needs to be needed. And that's when she tells her.

“Maybe I need you”

She watches Emma look for the lie and the light catches her eyes as she fails to find one. 

Regina doesn't need a saviour, a white knight, a sheriff or a rival. She needs Emma Swan to an extent that she barely even understands.


	2. Never Too Latte (Travel and sleeping)

"Maybe I need you" she’d said

And she does. She needs Emma to have her feelings, experience her hurt, to push through it, to learn from it. She doesn’t particularly need her to forgive her parents, she needs her to forgive herself. But she hadn't said any of that.

Just “I need you”

And now they’re driving to Lowell Massachusetts with awkward unanswered questions hanging in the air. Regina is just about ready to accept anything about Emma’s past. Maybe her and Lily were childhood sweethearts. Maybe Lily was the cause of another family rejecting Emma. Maybe Lily never ordered fries and always ate Emma’s and one day she just snapped. She kept the theories to herself while Emma was simmering away in silence. Emma had extended her more patience than she had anyone else, but still hardly any at all. 

"Do you want to stop for food?" Regina asks after a while, after enough of the silence that worries her more than whatever Zelena is up to.

"No”

More worrying still. "Well I do"

"Regina, this isn't a road trip" Emma snaps

"I think that by all definitions but yours, it is. I want something to eat and something to read if you're refusing to speak to me"

"I'm not..." Emma stops and sighs. "Fine"

Emma swings at the last minute into a rest stop called Never Too Latte. Regina is obviously not amused by it, but Emma usually laughs at that kind of thing. She glances up at the sign without comment before yanking the parking break so hard Regina’s surprised is remains attached. She can’t let the moment go. Maybe Emma will find it funny later and she’ll wish she’d taken a picture then. 

"What are you doing? I thought you wanted food" Emma complains as Regina holds up her phone

"I do, I'm taking a picture for Henry. I think he'd like it"   
_  
Snap._

She looks at her handiwork before attaching it to a message. The picture shows Emma squinting at the sign. Someone else might think she was squinting because of the orange sunset. She could just be regular Miss Sunshine herself, but she's not.

"You done?"

She’s absolutely not starting to feel sympathy for Snow White.

-

When they start on the road again Regina starts on the book she downloaded on the free wifi. It was written by a woman about two women whom, she had no doubt, would realise they were madly in love by the end of it. She’s supporting minorities, she tells Emma when she asks, and one of them women is latina, so there’s that too. 

Then silence again for 10 minutes. Emma cracks her knuckles on the steering wheel and shifts in her seat a few times. Regina stoically ignores her. She’s giving her space, and she’s getting into her book. She doesn't say a word when Emma finally reaches for the coffee she hadn't asked for, that Regina had bought anyway. She sees Emma watching her from the edge of her vision and clicks the page turner on her kindle.

She looks up when Emma sighs. Her eyes are still on the road and she waits for a moment before going back to reading. A few moments later Emma sighs again. She closes her kindle cover this time.

"Do you want to talk?"

"No" Emma says turning briefly to make eye contact. Regina holds her gaze until Emma looks back to the road.

"How is your book anyway?" 

"I'm enjoying it. The main character is very interesting, a successful business woman with a young son who reminds me a lot of Henry, though Henry is less spoiled." Emma smiles still looking forwards. "How is the driving? Do you want to share it?"

"I don't know, maybe? I kind of hoped we'd make it by tomorrow"

"Tomorrow? Surely you don't want to drive all night?"

"Well..."

"Emma..."

"I just want to get there!"

"At. what-" Regina checks her watch "2am?"

"Fine! We can stop for a break for a couple of hours I guess"

"I assume your break involves a bed?" Regina asks, ready to TripAdvisor hotels in the area.

"What?!" Emma almost swerves off the road

"There is no way in hell I am sleeping in this car" Regina says when the car and driver are back under control

"Fine, but I'm happy with it. I've done of plenty before"

She rolls her eyes. “Well enjoy your place on the cross, Miss Swan, I’ll be sleeping indoors tonight”

Emma chews her lips the rest of the drive and stays in the car when Regina goes to check in to the only hotel en route. The tarmac shines from recent rain and she watches Emma watch her as she walks back to the car. Emma rolls the window down and she passes her a keycard. 

"It's room 309 if you change your mind" 

"Goodnight, Regina" Emma says and tosses the card onto the dashboard

-

To Regina's everlasting credit she says nothing when Emma knocks on the door and enters an hour later.

"You mind if I shower?" she mumbles

"Be my guest” Regina says and Emma smiles for the first time in hours

“What?”

“Nothing, you wouldn’t get it”

She reads her book until Emma settles on the other double bed in the room, same clothes but hair tied up in a wet ponytail.

"Good shower?"

"Yeah, surprisingly. How's your book going?"

"I'm enjoying it. The babysitter is...endearing. I really enjoy the relationship between the main character and her best friend"

"Huh" Emma says and glances at the TV remote.

"Do you mind if I turn on the news?" Regina asks, though she has no interest in the news whatsoever

"Go for it. I might go soon"

"Ok. I'm just going to shower first" she throws Emma the remote.

-

Her first thought is that her thumb hurts. She opens her eyes to see her digit squeezed between the kindle and it’s cover. She slides it out with difficulty and rolls over to see a mess of blonde curls in the next bed. 

The alarm clock shows 6.05. She’s not going back to sleep but she's not going to get Emma up either, she seems to need rest more than anything, and they have time. Emma snuffles into the pillows and she lets herself smile at how cute it is. She closes her eyes and bites the inside of her lip to keep from laughing. Tough, streetwise Sheriff Swan, snoring quietly in a helpless state of sleep. 

She opens her kindle and scans for where she’s up to. She’s almost done with it and the two love struck fools have been on the edge of admitting their interest in each other. She reads, checking the clock periodically, until 7. There’s a sex scene in the book. It feels odd reading it in such close proximity to Emma but who is she kidding? She has to read it.

She takes it to the bathroom and continues reading while perched on the edge of the tub. The ventilation fan had come on with the light automatically. It’s distracting and in the bright room it’s hard to get back into the book. She manages and the sex scene is hot. She reads it twice. Some sections she reads more than twice. It’s beyond just sexy (though it’s that too). They care about each other. They have built a relationship through mutual respect and support and the little boy they both love.

It’s all a bit familiar and she glances at her flushed face in the mirror. Honestly. She stands quickly and turns the shower on. She turns it off again when she remembers she had one last night.

Her thoughts go to the babysitter in the book, pushed up against the wall and she kind of pictures Emma. Emma who is in the next room, she can't think about her. She can't think about what might have happened if there was only one double bed, if she would have woken to an arm wrapped around her, what if it had reached down a little? What if Emma’s little snores into her shoulder had turned into kisses at her neck? She jumps back in the shower.

 

She dries her hair in the bathroom and Emma is still asleep when she comes out wrapped in a towel. She folds her pyjamas and places them at the very bottom of her bag. Emma is still snoring and splayed out across the bed like a starfish. 

She dresses quickly, only letting her towel drop when she has her underwear on, despite Emma’s noise making it clear there is no audience for her there.

-

 

"Oh my god, why didn't you wake me?" Emma asks as she rushes into the hotel restaurant.

Regina looks up. Her shirt is wonky, she’s still pulling her jacket on. Regina would bet money that her shoes are also unlaced. She thinks about the babysitter from the book again.

"Coffee?" She asks

"What?" Emma looks at the table "no, come on!"

Regina sighs, puts her kindle away and slides off the seat to follow Emma.

"Where's the other bag you brought?" Emma asks, storming ahead of her

"In the car"

"Don't you need to pay for your breakfast?"

"I already did"

"Do you need to check out?"

"I already have"

"Oh" Emma’s walk slows as they reach the car and she turns back sheepishly. Regina puts a paper bag containing breakfast into her hands before getting into the passenger side.


End file.
